“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” – Anais Nin
Three years ago, before starting a course in Positive Psychology and Wellbeing, I was asked to complete various assessments or surveys, one of which is about character strengths.
In positive psychology, 24 character strengths serve as pathways to wellbeing. The purpose of the assessment is to help me discover my strengths and create a profile wherein the top 5 are deemed my signature strengths (strengths that I find energising captures my essence/uniqueness and what I express more naturally). In contrast, the bottom 4-7 strengths are my lesser/lower strengths (strengths that are either undeveloped or less used compared to other strengths).
To my dismay, out of 24 strengths, Bravery (under the virtue of Courage) was at the bottom of my profile — number 24 to be exact!
Although bottom strengths are not considered to be a weakness, the result of my character strengths assessment — my profile — still bothered me. The result then prompted me to reflect on why Bravery is a strength that I hardly use and need to develop.
It made me ask myself: Have I been living in fear my whole life? If so, how can I be courageous?
Upon reflection, I realised that, unconsciously, due to my stressful and traumatic upbringing, I became fearful, and it manifested in various ways such as through:
- Constant anxiety attacks
I was constantly anxious; sometimes it’s debilitating, sometimes it’s low-grade. Nonetheless, it made me struggle with public speaking, presentations, meetings, performances and making small talk (especially to authority figures). Even meeting new people, speaking up/voicing my opinion, and any activity or situation wherein I will be evaluated or judged became difficult. - People-pleasing
I wanted everyone to like me, and I was afraid of being criticised or receiving negative feedback. So I played the role of being nice and agreeable to everyone all the time, even to my detriment, instead of setting healthy boundaries that support my wellbeing. - Perfectionism
Everything has to be perfect in both my personal and professional life through means of excessive planning, overthinking, controlling and “performing”. I was afraid of making mistakes because that would mean that I’m flawed and not good and worthy enough. Unconsciously, I was equating being perfect to being worthy of love and acceptance. - Being inauthentic
I was afraid that if I speak my mind and let people know what I really think and feel, if I look and dress up differently, if I show who I really am in terms of my interests and passions, if I feel and express my negative emotions, that I will be rejected, that I won’t belong because I’m different. So I did my best to fit in, even if it means neglecting my authentic self.
Realising that courage is the antidote to all the manifestations of fear in my life, I’ve made it my mission to live my life with courage – to acknowledge my fears but still choose to be brave and act courageously
Defining Bravery And Courage
Nowadays, most people use the words Bravery and Courage interchangeably. And it’s understandable given the similar definition in the dictionary. Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines Courage as “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty; the ability to control your fear in a dangerous or difficult situation”. While it defines Bravery as “the quality or state of having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty”.
However, in terms of etymology (or origin of the word), they have some distinctions: Courage originated from the word “cor”, which is the Latin word for heart. On the other hand, Bravery comes from the word bravo, which means brave and bold in Italian (bravo, however, originally meant savage and wild). The etymology of the words then tells us that Courage takes more than just boldly facing fear and danger or being heroic. It also takes heart; it’s an action that comes from the heart or a noble action.
Courage And Bravery In Positive Psychology And Character Strengths
Bravery is within the virtue category of Courage, together with honesty, zest, and perseverance in positive psychology’s character strengths. It is defined as “not shrinking from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain; speaking up for what is right; acting on convictions even if unpopular”. It is also correlated with the strengths of honesty and creativity.
Bravery enables us to tolerate the vulnerability that comes with forming a close relationship with others, thereby allowing us not just to develop a close relationship, but also maintain those relationships. In this regard, Bravery paves the way to a connection that positively affects our wellbeing.
The Benefits Of Courage
Apart from having a positive effect on our wellbeing by helping us form and maintain close relationships, Bravery and Courage benefit our lives in the following ways:
- We show and express our authentic selves – it’s liberating not to hide who we truly are!
- We become creative, and resilient when it comes to rejections and criticisms
- We move out of our comfort zone and explore our world that can lead to learning and growth
- We set healthy boundaries with people that benefit our wellbeing (including confronting someone and showing healthy anger, instead of keeping it in and suffer)
- We boldly go after our goals and dreams in life – infusing our life with meaning and preventing regrets
The Brain Science Of Courage – The Courage Circuit
We practice courage because of the real or perceived presence of fear, threat, and danger. The part of our brain involved in detecting a threat and responsible for processing fear and emotions, together with other parts of the brain, is the amygdala.
The amygdala’s links to the other parts of the brain allow it to coordinate physiological responses based on cognitive information. The three responses to fear and anxiety caused by a threat are fight (advance), flight (retreat), or freeze (pause).
A study conducted by a team of neuroscientists from Stanford University lead by Neuroscientist Dr Andrew Huberman has found the parts of the brain that, when stimulated (they stimulated the activity of the tract that goes from the nucleus reuniens to the medial prefrontal cortex), results in an advance or fight response. This tract, a neural circuit for courage, has been dubbed as “courage circuit”.
According to Dr Huberman, “stepping into threats in a rational way — you don’t want to be killed or injured — but in a rational way over and over starts to create more activation in the so-called courage circuit”.
Essentially, although the initial confrontation with a threat is anxiety-provoking, repeated stepping forward or confrontations with a danger, advancing, or fight response results in more fight or courage response due to the activation of dopamine signal (the common chemical currency in the brain for reward), triggering signals in the brain and body that’s rewarding and reinforcing.
Basically, repeated courageous acts reinforce and result in more courageous acts because it becomes rewarding and pleasurable over time.
Although the study has been conducted on mice, since the human brain has similar parts, the study can have the same implications on humans.
The 3 Ways to Develop Courage using Brain Science
1.Calm your limbic system through contemplative practice
The limbic system is a group of brain structures that include the amygdala. It is also known as the “emotional part of our brain” because of its role in processing and regulating emotions. When faced with real or imagined stressful and threatening situations that make us feel unsafe, the limbic system, particularly the amygdala, activates the body’s stress response or the fight or flight response. And an amygdala hijack can also occur (when the amygdala overrides the prefrontal cortex, or the rational part of our brain, making it difficult for us to think clearly and act rationally).
Being the “fear generator and threat detector” and its involvement in emotional memories, overactivity in the amygdala plays a role in experiencing anxiety and fear.
Especially for those like me who experienced trauma, abuse, and toxic stress, the overactivity of the amygdala causes hypervigilance and sensitivity when it comes to real or imagined threats. Further, due to trauma and toxic stress’s detrimental effects on the brain, it can make us more predisposed to stress, anxiety, and fear.
Because of this, we need to learn ways to “calm our overactive limbic system”, particularly our amygdala, to make us feel safe. And when we feel calm and safe, it is easier to become courageous. The fear may still be there, but it’s no longer debilitating or paralysing; we can take courageous actions in spite of it.
In my experience, these contemplative practices helped me with my anxiety:
- Meditation
- Yoga
- Walking in nature
- Journaling
- Listening to soft, calming music
What these practices have in common that can help us be in a relaxed and calm state:
- Deep, slow breathing with long and slow exhalation – Especially during meditation and yoga, deep and slow breathing can activate the parasympathetic nervous system (our body’s rest and digest system or relaxation response). These activities can also stimulate the vagus nerve (a cranial nerve, part of the parasympathetic nervous system that can trigger a relaxation response), making us feel safe, calm, and relaxed.
- Mindfulness – When we are practising mindfulness (present-moment awareness), we experience relaxation (because our body is resting and settled in a natural state), stillness (stillness of mind and body), and clarity (focused attention). All these calm our mind and body.
- Focusing on the present moment – Mental time travelling, focusing, ruminating or obsessing about the past or what can go wrong in the future can all contribute to feelings of anxiety and fear. Thus, it is helpful to focus the mind on the present moment, live in the present moment and be in the here and now. When we are focused on the present moment, more often than not, we realise that all is well, that there is nothing to fear or reason to be anxious.
Moreover, I find that acknowledging, rather than denying our fears, is also calming. In the case of imagined threats, or when I’m in anxiety-provoking situations, I tell myself, “I’m anxious, I’m afraid, but I’m safe”. Then I take long, deep breathes.
I suggest that you try various practices to find out what works for you. And if you need professional help to process and heal deeper issues, don’t hesitate to reach out for help.
2. Take advantage of neuroplasticity and the brain’s “courage circuit” through repetition and practice
Neuroplasticity is the blanket term for our brain’s ability to change continuously throughout life. Virtually everything we do and our life experiences can “rewire the brain”.
What we do repeatedly changes and strengthens the neural pathways in the brain involved in the task or behaviour, making the action or behaviour automatic, and thus, can become part of our trait. Hence, when we repeatedly practice Courage, it eventually becomes part of our trait or who we are.
Aside from neuroplasticity, the “courage circuit” and reinforcement from activating the dopamine signal (as discussed earlier) can also help us become courageous.
In essence, whenever we repeatedly act courageously, it becomes rewarding and pleasurable because it activates the release of the neurochemical dopamine, which is part of our brain’s reward system that makes us feel good.
3. Be aware of the effects of trauma and the brain’s negativity bias
One of our brain’s primary goals is to protect us from any harm and help us survive. Because of this, it has evolved to focus more on the negative than positive and learn from bad experiences; this is called the brain’s negativity bias. And when we constantly focus on the negative or what can go wrong, that can result in anxiety and fear.
Aside from the brain’s negativity bias, another factor that could hinder us from becoming courageous is the effects of experiencing trauma.
Trauma changes the physiology of the brain. It is not just the story of what happened to us kept in our mind, but rather, it’s stored in our body.
I will not go deep into details about trauma and ways to heal it. However, if you experienced trauma (whether severe or micro-trauma) and abuse and you have not “processed” the experience or been actively working on healing it, then be aware that it could be the reason why you’re experiencing constant fear, anxiety, and self-sabotage.
If this is true for you, be patient with yourself and be self-compassionate. It takes time to heal. And remember that it takes so much courage to own our story and work towards healing.
Do I now consider myself courageous?
After consistent, mindful practice, yes, I now consider myself courageous (or at least more courageous than before).
The mere act of writing this article/blog and sharing with you my struggle with fear and how it manifested in my life is an act of courage in itself.
From time to time, I still struggle with fear and anxiety; that’s part of being human. But it’s no longer as debilitating or devastating as before. I’ve made progress when it comes to becoming courageous, and that’s all that matters.
If you could relate to my struggles and like to live a courageous life, I hope this piece has helped you. I’m rooting for you!
The Bottom Line
Fear and anxiety will always be part of our life and has an evolutionary advantage. In certain situations, such as real threats and danger, it can save our life. However, most of the time, the psychological fear and anxiety that we experience can hinder us from living the life we want – a thriving and authentic life.
With the help of neuroscience and contemplative practice, we can feel calmer, safer, and more relaxed, alleviating the fear and anxiety that prevents us from acting courageously. Further, we learned that we become courageous by repeatedly and consistently practicing acts of courage.
Now It’s Your Turn
- Reflection: How has fear and anxiety impacted your life? In what ways did it manifest in your personal and professional life?
- Action Step: What small act of courage can you do today?
Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment below and share what you’ve learned. Also, which of the tips or ways to develop courage will you be trying out? How will you apply it in your life?
References
Niemic, R. (2018). Character Strengths Interventions: A Field Guide for Practitioners. Hogrefe
https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/newsletters/authentichappinesscoaching/courage
https://www.neuroscientificallychallenged.com/blog/know-your-brain-amygdala