How to create a resilient brain: 8 factors that affect your resilience to stress and adversity

By Dea Victoria

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“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again” -Nelson Mandela

JK Rowling, the famous author of the Harry Potter series once said: “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life”. After reading that quote, I felt quite choked up and teary-eyed for being able to empathise and because of being reminded by my past and how far I’ve come to rebuilding my life.

Perhaps you can say that it’s tears of joy and a sense of pride knowing that I became resilient; that I bounced back from one adversity after another, turning pain and suffering into wisdom, consciously creating the life that I want (and know I deserve), and using my painful past as fuel to make a positive impact in people’s lives.

It’s a continuous journey that requires repeatedly dusting myself up after every fall. And I’m grateful that I received a lot of help from the amazing people in my life, my spirituality, and my knowledge of psychological and brain science.

2020 has tested the resilience of a lot of people, myself included. So how can we become more resilient, be better at handling stress, and not break when faced with insurmountable adversities?

Defining resilience

The word resilience comes from the Latin word resiliens which means “act of rebounding”, or “to rebound”. It is being able to “bounce back” and positively cope with stress and adversities, and not succumbing to chronic stress that can lead to depression, weakened immune system, anxiety, insomnia, and physical illnesses such as heart disease that will negatively affect every facet of our lives.

The importance of being resilient

Since our mind and body are inextricably linked (i.e. poor mental health leads to poor physical health and vice versa), we need to develop both our mental and physical resilience, because if not, the consequences can be dire.

Unfortunately, not being able to cope with life’s stresses and adversities, or not being resilient can result in mental disorders, poor physical health, and chronic illnesses. And for some, could even lead to taking one’s own life.

Lacking resilience could also hold us back from achieving our goals and dreams and reaching our full potential because we will either succumb to fear that we cannot cope with the challenges and stresses that come with any worthwhile endeavour, or try but quit too soon.

Being resilient is one of the ways wherein we can live a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.

Creating a resilient brain: Here are the 8 factors affecting your resilience to stress and adversities:

1.Your temperament – were you born resilient?

Are you a Dandelion or an Orchid? Or are you a Highly Sensitive Person like me?

Okay, so you might be baffled and wonder what flowers and sensitivity have to do with resilience? But had I learned these concepts earlier, it would have saved me so much heartache!

First, let me define temperament. Temperament is biologically determined and the basic foundation of our personality. It refers to characteristics such as our demeanour, mood, willingness to explore, behavioural inhibition, emotional responsiveness, and energy levels. It also pertains to being either shy or bold.

Now, let’s talk about Dandelions, Orchids, and The Highly Sensitive Person

Dr. Thomas Boyce, an emeritus professor of paediatrics and psychiatry at the University of California, studied and treated two groups of children: the first group is mostly extroverted, outgoing, comfortable with novelty, and indifferent to the level of stress and adversity they are experiencing, while the second group is often shy, exhibits sensory hypersensitivities, and experience either the best or worst health outcomes depending on the social context or levels of stress they found themselves in.

He then likened the first group of children to “dandelions” – hardy, grows, and thrives practically anywhere regardless of the environment. The second group of children were likened to “orchids” – beautiful but more delicate and fragile, and require a more supportive and loving environment to thrive. In the words of Dr Boyce in his TED talk: “Orchids flourish and do beautifully under conditions of nurturance and care, but under conditions of stress and neglect, wither and fade”. Among the two types, dandelions are generally deemed more resilient. However, in the right environment, orchids thrive and exhibit high resilience as well.

Another researcher and pioneer in studying sensory processing sensitivity, psychotherapist Dr Elaine Aron, found out that about 15-20 percent of the population are highly sensitive persons (or HSPs). Meaning, individuals born with, and I quote from her book The Highly Sensitive Person in Love: “a nervous system genetically designed to be more sensitive to subtleties, more prone to deep reflection on inner experience, and therefore inevitably more easily overwhelmed by outer events”. Due to the depth of processing and sensitivity to subtle aspects of the environment, a highly sensitive person can easily become mentally and physically overstimulated and therefore become stressed.

It must be noted that although these concepts (dandelion-orchid hypothesis and highly sensitive person) are all based on scientific research and are genetically determined (meaning, we are born with any of these temperaments), we must keep in mind that human beings are complex and some may not fall into these categories. However, these concepts can greatly help us understand ourselves better so that we can tailor our resilience strategies based on our needs.

In my case, I’m an “orchid” and a highly sensitive person (although not all orchids are HSPs).

Knowing that I have a temperament likened to an orchid and a highly sensitive person has helped me reframe my past experiences (the hurt I felt and mistakes I’ve made), and tailor self-care in the context of my temperament and sensitive nervous system (so as not to trigger the cortisol and fight or flight system that negatively impacts my mind and body). It also helped me develop and practice self-compassion, which is beneficial and needed in becoming more resilient – I believe that we must be our best ally to cope with life’s stresses and adversities.

Practice self-compassion — we must become our best ally in order to cope with life’s inevitable stresses and adversities

2. Your tribe – are you surrounding yourself with the right people?

We thrive and are more resilient when we are surrounded by supportive, loving, and caring individuals. Conversely, we suffer loneliness and depression whenever we are disconnected, isolated, or being treated unkindly. Intuitively we know this.

Everyone — whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, and regardless of temperament – needs a certain level of healthy social connection.

Human beings are social creatures, and thus thrive on social connection — we all have a “social brain”.

Social isolation, or lack of social interaction, has been found to impair brain function, cognition, and negatively affect and reduce the size of various brain structures such as the prefrontal cortex (involved in executive functions such as decision making and reasoning, as well as social behaviours), hippocampus (associated with learning and memory, and in regulating the stress hormone cortisol), and amygdala (associated with emotion processing). A study also found that when the amygdala becomes dysregulated, it results in lower resilience and increased risk of depression.

On the other hand, when we feel connected, accepted, and feel the warmth of another person (through positive interactions such as a meaningful conversation, a hug, or sharing a laugh), our nervous system calms down, stress hormone cortisol lowers, and we get a surge of oxytocin (the love hormone, associated with bonding), and dopamine (the hormone associated with reward and pleasure) in our system that brings about positive emotions.

When we feel more positive emotions due to feelings of belonging and being cared for or knowing that we are not alone, we become more resilient in handling life’s various challenges. We don’t easily break.

3. The quality of your sleep

One of the most undervalued factor when it comes to having good mental and physical health is sleep. This is something that I wish I’ve known when I was younger, especially when I was in my twenties wherein I sacrificed sleep over working long hours and paid the price for it.

After reading the book written by the neuroscientist Matthew Walker entitled “Why We Sleep”, it made so much sense why I got stressed, sick, and depressed easily.

According to the research done by Dr Walker and his team, lack of sleep causes bad mood and emotional reactivity because the amygdala — the part of the brain linked to strong emotions such as anger and rage and fight or flight response — becomes overactive, or have heightened response to negative emotional triggers. Thus, on days when you lack sleep, most likely you’ll easily snap or be inappropriately angry or hostile, or have other inappropriate emotional reactions when triggered.

More disturbingly, because sleep deprivation can cause depression, it has been linked to suicidal thoughts, suicidal attempts, and sadly, suicide completion.

Other benefits of sleep include getting rid of toxin build-up in the brain, preventing illnesses, regulating stress, improving attention and alertness, and improving our mood which can prevent depression.

In a nutshell, sleep is the bedrock of brain health. It is one of the most important things we can do for our brain, mind, and body — without quality sleep, everything falls apart, including our resilience to stress and life’s difficulties.

4. The bacteria in your gut or your gut microbiome

Over and over we hear the advice to eat healthily, eat more veggies, etc. But how does diet help us become more resilient?

It turns out, about 90-95 percent of the body’s serotonin (the hormone involved in regulating our mood and can make us feel happy) is produced in the gut by gut bacteria or microbes. This is why gut health and diet can either positively or negatively affect our mood.

Moreover, the gut bacteria and their diversity is greatly affected by the types of food we eat — highly processed foods negatively disrupt the balance between good and bad bacteria which can cause illnesses and mood problems. However, a healthy, balanced diet such as the Mediterranean diet may help prevent depression. And while diet is not the only treatment for mood disorders, it is a powerful way to prevent and alleviate mental health issues.

Bottom line: Our gut health is linked to our mood. When our gut is healthy, we feel good. And when we feel good, we can cope with stress and problems better.

5. The amount of movement you get

My mentor, neuroscientist Dr Sarah McKay of The Neuroscience Academy, mentioned in one of our classes while discussing movement, that “our brain evolved on foot, that humans evolved not to think but to move”. Hence, movement, like sleep, is another foundation of brain health. And when coupled with cognitive tasks, it protects the brain from deteriorating.

A study has found that people who exercise have about 40 percent better mental health than those who don’t. What’s more beneficial is exercising with other people — such as participating in team sports — because you also get the benefits of social connection. In terms of duration, the study has found that the sweet spot is about 45 minutes, 3 to 5 times per week.

Another benefit of movement involves our eyes. According to Dr Andrew Huberman, a neuroscientist at Stanford University, when we move through space (such as walking and running), we engage in what’s called optic flow (a form of visual streaming as we continuously move in one direction). Optic flow affects a set of circuits in the brain and body that results in relaxing, calming, and invigorating us and gives us a rewarding sensation. This explains why we feel good when we take a long walk or run.

One of the most validated by neuroscience when it comes to improving creativity is taking a walk in nature. Doing so not only improves creativity but problem-solving as well – both needed in handling stress and adversity.

6. Your environment

To protect us, our brain constantly adjusts and changes (what’s called neuroplasticity) depending on the environment we are in.

Therefore, when we are in a negative, unsafe, and toxic environment, the amygdala (the part of the brain involved in fear and threat detection) will be more active, and our mind and body will be in constant high cortisol, fight or flight mode. It’ll only calm down once we are in a safe and loving environment.

Your environment pertains to both the people you surround yourself with (are they supportive and loving? Can you trust them?) and the physical environment you are in (does it make you feel safe? Is it close to nature? Is it comfortable and meets your needs based on your temperament?).

To become more resilient, we must strive to be in an environment that will meet our three basic needs – our need for safety, satisfaction, and connection.

7. Your downtime – do you take time to be still, reflect, and breathe?

When you are overwhelmed, anxious, frazzled, confused, depressed, and it seems like nothing is going right, and you’ve been obsessively thinking about your problems and what’s been stressing you out, here’s what you should do: pause, be still, breathe, and then, pamper yourself with various forms of contemplative practice.

Contemplative practice comes in many forms. It can be through the form of meditation, yoga, journaling, praying, walking in nature, painting or making art, cooking, listening to music, etc. — find one that works for you.

How do these practices benefit the brain and help it become more resilient to stress and adversities?

It has been found that the sympathetic nervous system (involved in fight or flight response) of people who regularly meditate does not react intensely to stress, and when they do, they calm down more easily. Thus, meditation helps in reducing the over-activation of the sympathetic nervous system resulting in feeling calmer, happier, and more peaceful.

But even though you’re the type of person who is not into meditation, there are other ways to “steady the mind”, you just have to find what works best in calming you and shifting your emotions to more positive – is it walking meditation, playing music, taking a swim, creating artwork, being in nature?

I meditate daily, and I also love to take long walks in nature, play with our dog, and indulge in the arts (such as singing, dancing, painting, writing, photography, and arts and crafts) — all these practices tremendously helped me in becoming more resilient.

8. Your emotional intelligence and coping strategies

Are you a fan of watching comedy series like me? I’m a big fan of Friends and I love watching other similar series. Television shows that are light-hearted and can make me laugh help me wind down after a busy day and on days when I simply don’t want to think deeply or deal with serious materials. Also, because laughter produces positive emotions that are good for our brain and therefore, mental health.

“Positive emotions are the building blocks of resilience, physical health, everyday effectiveness, and fulfilling relationships. We need moments of positivity. Because those moments nourish growth, and they nourish learning” – Barbara Fredrickson

The last time I felt down, I had a good cry (crying and acknowledging your pain and suffering is good for you by the way, instead of suppressing negative emotions), and watching a Friends marathon helped me feel better.

It’s also one of the emotional strategies I use, apart from the ones discussed previously, to manage my emotions in a healthy way and transition from feeling negative emotions to more positive ones. After which, when I’m calmer and feeling better, I’m in a better position to tackle the challenges I’m facing.

The main goal is to take action and practice emotional intelligence (the ability to understand and manage emotions in a healthy way) which we can do through various healthy strategies such as having a cup of tea (or coffee and savouring it, feeling its warmth, enjoying its smell and taste), taking a long warm bath, having a hearty meal, listening to soothing music, playing with a pet, taking a long walk in nature, reading a good book or novel, getting good sleep, doing artwork, etc.

“You can’t think your way out of it but you can take action, strategise, and behave towards resilience. Taking action and reaching goals reminds your brain you’re not helpless” – Dr Sarah McKay

The point is, you have to find (through trial and error) the healthy coping strategies that make you feel better, that makes you feel empowered to take action and move forward.

Practicing healthy coping strategies coupled with emotional intelligence will enable you to face stresses and adversities with courage, grit, and resilience.

Key Takeaways

Resilience, or being able to bounce back and cope with life’s stresses and adversities can be learned and developed
Being resilient allows us to pursue our goals, reach our potential, and prevent mental and physical illnesses. It is one of the ways we can live a happy, healthy, and meaningful life
Knowing our inborn temperament (whether we are born with a nervous system sensitive to subtleties in the case of a highly sensitive person, or have temperaments likened to a dandelion or an orchid) allows us to tailor resilience strategies based on our specific needs
Because we have a social brain, having positive social connections benefits our brain and buffers us from the negative mental and physical effects of isolation and loneliness that undermines resilience
Getting regular quality sleep helps in keeping our brain healthy. It also prevents negative emotional reactivity, improves our mood, and allows us to better handle stress
Our gut health affects our mood. Eating a healthy, balanced diet prevents the disruption of the balance between the good and bad bacteria in our gut which can cause depression and illnesses. When we feel good, we cope with stress better
Because our brain evolved on foot, movement, or exercising benefits it. It also helps us feel calmer due to optic flow. Further, moving, specifically walking in nature helps us become more creative and better at problem-solving – both needed when handling adversities
Being in a positive environment that supports our basic need for safety, satisfaction and connection prevents chronic stress response that allows us to deal with hardships better
When we take the time to be still and indulge in a contemplative practice that works for us, we become calmer, happier, and better at handling difficulties
We become resilient and cope with stress and adversities better when we practice emotional intelligence and healthy coping strategies

Now it’s your turn

Reflect on these 8 factors that affect your resilience. Which factor do you need to develop, improve, and learn more about?
Think about the last time you handled a stressful situation or problem, how could you have handled it better? How could you have developed your inner resources and resilience to have a better outcome?

Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment below and let me know what you’ve learned, and which factors greatly affect your capacity to become resilient to stress and adversities? Are there any healthy coping strategies that you’d like to share?