“In order to heal, you may wish to become your own hero” – Dr Gabor Maté
To create and live a flourishing life, we need to be healthy both mentally and physically.
As someone who was unhealthy in the past, I wish I’d been taught to listen to my body early on. I wish I learned when I was younger to pay attention and connect with what I’m feeling and experiencing physically.
Nowadays, I know that my body is trying to communicate with me through physical symptoms of pain and illnesses. It’s trying to communicate that something in my life is causing me distress that either I’m not aware of or is trying to deny. In this regard, I wish I also learned to prioritise my mental health and pay attention to my emotions early on.
I know that bacteria and viruses cause certain illnesses. When infected, no amount of self-reflection can heal you except for rest, supplements, medications, an overall healthy lifestyle, and sometimes, surgery. Although, if you have a robust immune system, you’ll be less susceptible to getting sick. If you do, you’ll recover faster.
However, for the vast majority of chronic illnesses and autoimmune diseases, the causes have strong links to prolonged developmental and life stresses, including abuse and trauma.
So have you been struggling with health issues? Or do you have a chronic or autoimmune disease (wherein medical doctors can’t explain the specific root cause)? If so, I hope you can be compassionately curious and ask yourself: what is my body trying to tell me?
The science of mind-body connection
Most people intuitively know that our mind and body are interconnected. Intuitively we know that our mind affects our body and vice versa. Nevertheless, usually, we choose to ignore the state of our mind and emotions and focus only on the physical symptoms.
Our mind, brain, and body are in constant communication (they communicate through the nervous, endocrine, cardiovascular, and immune systems). Consequently, they are inseparable. Ignoring our emotions, especially the negative ones that causes constant stress, anxiety, sadness, and depression, harms our physical health.
Psychoneuroimmunology – or the science of the interactions of the mind and body – studies how our mind interacts with our body’s nervous system. And how both our mind and body affect our immune system.
It turns out, our mind communicates with our immune system cells. These cells have receptors for the three main stress hormones cortisol, adrenaline, and noradrenaline. As a result, chronic and prolonged stress is detrimental to both our mind and body because it disrupts our body’s processes and weakens our immune defences.
Aside from Psychoneuroimmunology, another field that studies the relationship between emotions and health is Positive Psychology. According to positive psychology research, emotions, specifically positive emotions such as happiness, hopefulness, contentment, and optimism, have various benefits to our health and longevity.
Various researches show that positive emotions benefit us by:
- Strengthening our bodies and brains
- Allowing our bodies to heal
- Improving our immune system
- Helping our brain function well and think clearly
- Reducing the risk of illnesses such as cardiovascular disease, diabetes, hypertension, colds, and upper respiratory infections
- Making us live longer (increased longevity between 7.5 to 10 years wherein optimists lived longer than pessimists)
- Preventing suicide and accidents
Because our mind is inextricably linked to our body, it’s good to know that working towards creating a happy life benefit both our mental and physical wellbeing.
What is your body trying to tell and teach you?
If you’ve been struggling with your health, perhaps reflecting on your life, specifically, the causes of your unhappiness and stress will greatly help you heal.
In my early 20’s, I’ve been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. Even after almost a decade of religiously following conventional medicine’s way of managing an illness, such as taking medications, tests and checkups, strict healthy diet and lifestyle, etc., I still didn’t feel better. When I finally reflected on every aspect of my life and accepted that something has to change, I started to heal.
After years of suffering and huge medical bills, I realised that no amount of healthy organic foods, exercise, medications, sleep and supplements will heal me if I don’t heal my mind and uproot myself from stressful environments that don’t support my wellbeing.
I understand that some people may not believe this. It’s also true that some diseases don’t have an underlying psychological cause or may not be due to stress. But if you’re constantly sick, whether it’s a recurring illness or various illnesses seemingly not connected, this is something that could help you.
I know it’s not easy to put our lives under a microscope. It’s easier to distract and numb ourselves through various means. Distracting and numbing ourselves could take the form of addictions (for example, getting addicted to drugs, alcohol, shopping, work, eating, binge-watching, social media, etc.). Those are easier to do than to reflect on our lives and realise that we are stressed and unhappy.
Causes of stress and unhappiness could be being in an unhappy relationship, working in a job we hate, having unfulfilled dreams, and regretting past mistakes. Resenting and blaming our parents or other people for how our lives turned out and not working on healing past hurt and trauma could continuously cause stress and unhappiness too. You may think about other reasons based on your current life situation.
In my case, when I was finally ready to listen to my body’s language of pain and disease, here are the wisdom I gained:
- To value authenticity over people-pleasing
- To stop overworking and overachieving to prove myself. I am enough just as I am; no prerequisites are needed. Therefore, I deserve to rest
- To drown out the noise — to honour my dreams and own truth, not what others and society impose on me
- To end abusive and toxic relationships and to break unhealthy relationship patterns caused by trauma
- To spend more time with people who are warm, loving and accepting
- To quit an unfulfilling job and be courageous enough to build a different career
- To take action on my dreams and goals each day, no matter how small
- To focus on prioritising taking care of myself instead of constantly taking care of others and putting myself last
- To get to know myself and what I value
- To develop and implement boundaries based on my values
- To be a better steward of my finances
- To have high standards in every aspect of my life and not settle for anything less than I deserve (and I deserve the best)
- To respect my body’s needs and limitations (to eat when I’m hungry, to rest when I’m tired and not feeling well instead of constantly pushing myself, to honour my sensitivities)
When I made the necessary changes based on these lessons, my health started to improve. These pieces of wisdom, gained from listening to my body, helped me heal from depression, chronic stress, anxiety, various illnesses and enabled me to reach close to remission from an autoimmune disease. The different physical symptoms that plagued me slowly went away. And because of it, my relationships, finances, and career improved too.
How about you, what is your body trying to teach you? And are you ready to listen?
Additional tips on healing and improving your physical wellbeing
When we think about physical health, usually the focus is on eating healthy, exercising and getting enough sleep or rest. Although those are all important, one aspect of health that, if neglected, can have a more detrimental impact than diet and exercise which is our mental health.
For example, being depressed can lead to poor physical health. Depression causes us to eat unhealthily and become unmotivated to move and socialise. Further, depression can cause sleep disruption due to insomnia. All these contribute to poor physical health.
Apart from the lessons that I previously shared, here are some tips that helped me in my healing journey:
- Listen to your body through mindfulness practice
Mindfulness practice can be in the form of having a daily meditation practice, through journaling, or simply having a quiet alone time in nature or your room.
When you slow down and carve some time out from your busy day, you gain clarity to pay attention to your mind and body. Stillness can also help you recognise when “something feels off” and what’s causing you distress. In doing so, you can take action before it gets worse.
- Be self-compassionate
Healing is not a linear journey. There may be detours, and it can be slow. It also requires accepting your current situation and the role you played in it. When you extend compassion and kindness to yourself, the easier the journey will be and the more progress you’ll make.
- Practice emotional competence
Emotions play a pivotal role in our health. It can either restore our health or cause illness. Thus, we must be able to feel and acknowledge our emotions. And then express and manage it effectively, without repressing or denying it — especially when dealing with negative emotions such as anger and sadness. Remind yourself that repressing or denying your emotions to gain approval from others is harmful to your health.
- Seek social support
In the past, I took pride in being independent and self-sufficient. I saw asking for help as a weakness. Looking back, I realised that if I allowed myself to be more vulnerable and ask for help and emotional support, I would have healed faster. So remember that it’s okay not to be strong and self-sufficient all the time. It’s also okay and courageous to show vulnerability and seek social support. You don’t have to go through it alone.
- Trust yourself and don’t solely rely on your medical doctor
I have the utmost respect for doctors. What they do is noble and commendable. I also don’t advocate not following your doctor’s advice or not taking medications when needed. As long as the advice is from a reputable medical practitioner, those are very important to follow.
However, in my experience, I learned that I’m the expert when it comes to my body. I know it more than my doctor, who merely relies on tests and symptoms that don’t always paint the whole picture or are 100% reliable. Therefore, it is not enough to only rely on your doctor; you have to trust yourself too.
I learned that I have to take charge of my health by listening to my body to know what works and feels right and what doesn’t. I also learned the importance of researching to gain vital knowledge that I may not get from my doctor, who’s usually in a hurry to get to the next patient. This essential knowledge includes specific lifestyle changes tailored to your illness and ensuring optimal absorption and efficacy of your medications by knowing their interaction with food and supplements.
It’s also essential to be aware of how your disease can impact your mind and the rest of your body. For example, my autoimmune disease mainly affects my thyroid and eyes, but it makes me prone to developing heart disease, diabetes, osteoporosis, polycystic ovaries, depression, anxiety, and other chronic illnesses if not managed well. Always keep in mind that everything is interconnected.
Further, unfortunately, most doctors (except for functional medicine doctors) are either unaware of or don’t acknowledge the mind-body connection. They will focus on the physical symptoms and prescribe medications to alleviate them without considering all the possible factors causing and aggravating the disease. As a result, you get minimal progress, but your health and vitality won’t be restored. At least, this is my experience. I believe the conventional approach works for an acute disease but not for chronic disease.
These days, after applying the lessons and tips I discussed, I’m much healthier and happier. My current health is a far cry from the past. I’m no longer a “walking pharmacy” (because of carrying and taking too many medicines each day. Now, I only take one medication at the lowest dose). Hospitals are no longer my second home too. And because of being healthier and happier, I have more energy and resources to create a flourishing life and help others do the same.
Key Takeaway
There’s wisdom in our bodies. When we listen to our body’s language of disease and pain, we will realise that illnesses can help us pay attention to our lives, especially to what’s causing us stress and suffering. And when we heal those areas, the healing of our bodies will follow.
The body cannot be separated from the mind too. The science of mind-body connection as studied in fields such as Psychoneuroimmunology and Positive Psychology supports the strong link between our mental health and physical health, and the constant communication between our mind, brain and body.
Listening to our body, paying attention to our emotions and cultivating positive emotions can improve our overall health. Moreover, to heal, we need to trust ourselves, take charge of our health, and make the necessary life changes that support our wellbeing. Collectively, these can restore our health, help us become happier, and enable us to create a flourishing life.
Now It’s Your Turn
- Reflection: How’s your current physical and mental wellbeing? Is there anything that you’d like to improve? What role do stress and emotions play in your current health?
- Action Step: Based on your reflection, take a small step, even just one small action towards changing something in your life that could benefit your health (for example, do you need to have an honest conversation with someone, do you need to stop doing something, do you need to prioritise getting enough rest, do you need to learn something – such as how to become more emotionally competent/intelligent? Do you need to have in-depth research about your illness and not simply rely on the information your doctor tells you? )
Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts and additional tips on improving health and wellbeing beyond the traditional diet and exercise approach.
References
Langley Group, Diploma of Positive Psychology and Wellbeing (2018, pp. 34-35)
Maté, G. (2003). When the body says no: the cost of hidden stress. Scribe.
The Neuroscience Academy, Mind: The Brain & The Mind-Body Connection